If You Ever Think You Are A Bad Mother
If you ever think you are a bad mother – read this.
Know that you are not that one moment.
You are not one bad decision.
You are not the 5 seconds of cursing when your child wakes for seemingly no reason for the fourth time, shattering your sleep once again.
You are not the heat of anger at the food thrown on the floor in disgust over and over, the same food he ate happily yesterday.
You are not the five minutes of exhausted sobbing on the steps while she watches television.
You are not the gritted teeth, or the muttered curse under your breath.
The real you, the essence of you, is in everything surrounding it. There are some fleeting bad moments and turbulent times. But you keep striving.
Because there is no fear like that of letting them down, and no love more fierce.
You are the time spent settling the baby and the aching back from swaying and rocking him, just so.
You are the calm clearing up, the making safe, the gentle persuading ‘try, just a little bit?’
You are the endless hours of worry, consideration and care.
You are the open arms, the pillow, the clean clothes, the satisfying food.
You are security.
You are the favourite song, sung over and over again in the car.
You are the first smile in the morning, and the last kiss goodnight.
In a childhood of hundreds of millions of seconds, you may dwell on the bad moments.
But they will remember the good.
You are the love with which you look upon your child.