Twins

Losing My Spark

It’s hard to writing about losing your spark when you’ve lost your spark. But here I go anyway.

I thought the early newborn days with the boys were hard. But these past couple of weeks have really tested me. And I don’t really like what they’ve done to me. I’m always asked ‘does it get easier?’ And so far I can’t say that it does, only that the challenges change. I don’t like to admit that I’ve not felt very happy, and I certainly don’t like to admit when things are a struggle. But parenthood isn’t all rainbows and roses, is it?

I feel I do the best I can but it seems I’ve hit a bit of a wall. I’ve gone from relishing opportunities to pushing them away. I’ve retreated into my shell because it’s easier not to make the effort to be sociable. My naturally cheerful voice around the boys has become forced. Sounds awful, I know.

I have wanted to blog but my motivation seems to have faded. Nothing is sparking my imagination, and that’s sad for me.

We have had a run of terribly unsettled nights. I feel run down and not physically at my best. But I don’t think I can blame lack of sleep entirely. Part of my mood is down to me and the thought patterns I have chosen, so I really need to break the cycle.

So readers, help me out – what do you do when you’ve lost your spark?

 

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2 Comments

  • Reply
    Sarah
    November 26, 2015 at 8:23 pm

    For a start, you are a super woman. You’re a mum of twins and you’ve made it to six months. It’s such incredibly hard work and no one that hasnt experienced it could even try and understand how difficult it can be. Joyous at other times. But always a lot of work. Non stop work. So give yourself a break. And a congratulatory pat on the back. Lack of sleep is pure torture. I would say, try and get yourself some more help for a few days. Maybe even book yourself in for a massage for a few hours. Big hug xx

    • Reply
      twolittlemisters
      November 26, 2015 at 8:30 pm

      Ahh, thank you. I’m sure you are right and I am probably too hard on myself sometimes. It frustrates me that I can’t do everything but forget that as long as the important things are done (i.e. the babies are taken care of), nothing else matters as much. I have been feeling a bit better today, hopefully a bit of sleep and a nice weekend will sort me out. 🙂 x

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